Homestarrunnercom counseling!
by Midi Nite
Summary: Jess, Jenny, Jonnifer, and Laura are all adicted to Homestarrunner.com. How will Strong Bad, Homestar runner and Da Cheat help?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Okay, hi. I don't own Homestarrunner.net (it's dot COM!) or Jess, Jonnifer, or Jenny, because they are them. I own Laura, because I am Laura. ^^ I don't own Da Cheat, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Coach Z, Strong Mad, or Bubs. So ENJOY!!!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Laura walked into the familiar building, labeled HR.C(I.N)GROORC, otherwise known as Homestarrunner.com (it's .net) great red overly obsessive recuperation center. Today, her counsler was going to be Strong Bad. She'd be in the same group as always. It would be her, her brother, Jonnifer, and her two friends, Jenny and Jess. Laura quickened her pace, realizing that she might be late for her favorite character's session! She sprinted through the doors, down hallway A, took a right hook turn into hallway B, and hairpin into C. She did a u-ey into D, and a left circle into E. Another right circle brought her into F. She jumped over the moon, landing in hallway Y, and teleported to Z.  
  
"I'm here!!" she yelled as she swung the door, labeled Strong Bad W. open, causing a ton of papers to go flying like. . . WOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!  
  
"That's nice. Now take a seat, crap for brains," Strong Bad said. She sat in between Jess and Jenny, leaving Jonnifer to fend for himself.  
  
"Now, let's begin," Strong Bad said. "Ahem," he cleared his throat. In a gust of wind, and a purple blur, Strong Bad and the chair were flying.  
  
"SOMEBODY GET THIS FICKEN' THING OFFA MEEEEEE!!!" he yelled. Everyone jumped to their feet, and saw Jess clinging onto Strong Bad.  
  
"I love you STRONG BAD!" she squealed, before giving him a huge kiss on the cheek. Jonnifer, Jenny, and Laura managed to scrap her off of Strong Bad.  
  
"I can breath again!" Strong Bad announced. He straigtened up himself, and the chair, then sat down again. "Let's beg-" he said as the door opened.  
  
"Hi, Strong Bad. Need anything?" a head poked through the door. It was none other than his assistant, Lil' Stiny. Strong Bad struck a pose before he requested anything.  
  
"STINY! Get me a danish!" Strong Bad said like a hero.  
  
"One danish, coming right up sir," Stiny said before he left the room.  
  
"Let's begin," Strong Bad began. "Any questions for me?"  
  
"How do you get so awesome?" Jonnifer spoke for the first time since they were there.  
  
"Well, Jonnifer, this is not that hard to explain. I was born awesome. I was an awesome baby, and when people saw me, they were like "I'm blinded by the awesomeness of this baby!" Strong Bad finished. "Any others?"  
  
"Will you marry me??" Jess asked, with hearts for eyes.  
  
"Well, you are a fine lady. But there are too many to choose from. Sorry, Jess," Strong Bad answered.  
  
"So, that's the 22nd, right?? YAY! Oh no! But what shall I wear?" Jess panicked.  
  
"She's as smart as Homestar himself," Strong Bad said with a roll of his eyes. "Beginning. Jess, why are you so obsessed with homestarrunner.com?" Strong Bad asked the spazing girl.  
  
"Well, you're on there. That's good enough, right?" Jess answered.  
  
"Jenny?"  
  
"The e-mails!" Jenny said.  
  
"Jonnifer?"  
  
"Da Cheat Rules!" Jonnifer yelled, pumping a fist into the air,  
  
"Laura?"  
  
"You, and the way you make fun of homestar!" Laura replied.  
  
"Okay, I got one for all of you," Strong Bad said.  
  
"What?" Jess, Jenny, Jonnifer, and Laura all asked in unison.  
  
"You're all," he whipped out a keyboard and started typing something, "DE-"  
  
"Your danish has arrived!" Stiny re-entered the room.  
  
"I was about to delete them!" Strong Bad whined.  
  
"Sorry, yo," Stiny said as he exited the room.  
  
"Like I was saying, you're all. . . DELETED!!!!!" Strong Bad yelled. There was a short buzzing sound, and Jess, Jenny, Jonnifer, and Laura were all transferred to another cousleing room.  
  
"Meh," Da Cheat's voice said.  
  
"Omigod! It's DA CHEAT!" Jonnifer squealed, barely containing himself in his seat.  
  
"Meh," Da Cheat said. Subtitled were floating around his waist, showing what he was saying. The subtitiles read: So? Jenny got up, and took the 'o' out of it, so know it looked like "S ?"  
  
"MEH!!! Eh meh eh MEH!" Da Cheat yelled at Jenny. The subtitles read: When y u steal my letters, I can't use them! Like that! See! The ' ' was missing! H N!!!  
  
"Coolly!" Jonnifer said getting up to steal the letters.  
  
"MEHHHHHH!!!!" Da Cheat bellowed. Subtitles: DELETED!!!  
  
"Wewcome fwiends!" Homestar said to the four new people sitting in front of him.  
  
"Hiya!" Laura said.  
  
"Yo," Jess greeted.  
  
"Hi," Jenny said.  
  
". . ." Jonnifer said, not liking Homestar that much.  
  
"Weww, I have been asiwned to teach you aww dat Homestaw wunner is not a site to be on aww day wong!" Homestar said.  
  
"Weawy?" Jess said, mimicking Homestar.  
  
"HAHAHAHA!!!" Laura and Jenny burst out laughing.  
  
"Dat isn't vewy funny, guys," Homestar said, just making them all laugh harder. "I gwess we're aww done for today," Homestar said, transporting them outside the front entrance of the building.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I need more characters!! Some one send me suggestions!!! 


	2. More issues

Disclaimer: I don't own it, or Dick Cheny But like I needed to say that so you knew??? *snicker*  
  
Author notes: For all of you who don't know, Dick Cheny is our vice president. Okay... you know what? I think I might respond to reviews! (OH BOY! I GOT REVIEWS!!! *does happy dance*)  
  
Jesscheaux: Coach Z isn't going to like this chapter very much... heh heh heh...  
  
Mirr: Really? I didn't know there were THAT many Homestar addicts out there!  
  
Shekla: Well... you're not going to be in this chapter, sorry. I can't fit it in, so maybe next chapter?  
  
Evil_Homestar: Maybe we'll get visits from the poopsmith and Pom-pom. ^__^  
  
Okay... ON WITH THE MADNESS!!! ^____^ ____________________________________________________________________  
  
"Herlo, everbordy!" Coach Z greeted the four people in need of help as he paced the room.  
  
"HIYA COACH Z!!" no one screamed. No one really liked Coach Z much. Jess just picked at her nails, Jenny looked around the room, Laura was poking Jonnifer, who was just sitting there like a dead log.  
  
"Orkay, den. You arll wanna get dis ting started?" Coach Z asked with much enthusiasm. Still, there was no reply from the peanut gallery. Laura was getting bored of poking Jonnifer, and was falling asleep. Jonnifer was still being his loggy self, Jenny and Jess were getting real bored as well, and decided that napping would be the best thing to pass the time. "Werll, why do you arll like Homestar and the gang so murch?" Coach Z asked the drousy patients. No one replied.  
  
"I knorw you don't like me, but that's nort a good reason to farll asleep, yo!" Coach Z chastised them. "Wake urp, or I think Ir'm going to blow my lid, there," Coach Z warned the sleeping patients.  
  
"Orkay, dat's it!" Coach Z yelled. "WARKE URP, DAMN PATIENTS!" Coach Z bellowed, startling the patients. He stood there panting. That took up all of his breath, and he was REALLY freakin' pissed. (A/N: Nice adjectives, ne?)  
  
All of a sudden, Dick Cheny showed up!  
  
"Um... hi," the vice president said, taking a seat in the circle.  
  
"Orh, boy! Can I harve your authograph?" Coach held out his pen and paper to the VP, he LOVED politics, and especially George and Dick.  
  
"No. I'm just here to tell you two things, three I mean," Cheny said.  
  
"Damn," Coach Z whispered to himself.  
  
"Okay, first off, you're under violation of code 4, paragraph 7, line 67, that clearly states: No putting mental patients to sleep by boredom. It seems that you have just done that," Cheny finished his numero uno reason for being there.  
  
"Whart are the orther reasons you're here?" Coach asked.  
  
"Well, I have to tell you this law that applies in Pennsylvania, because that's where you are today," Cheny stated.  
  
"Really? Hm, I dorn't think I'm getting out enourgh," Coach Z said. Every day, the Homestar clinic moves, yet it stays in the same place. Really, it was in California yesterday, even though all of our patients live in Massachusetts. And when they walk out of their door, the clinic is always at the same spot in relativeness to their house. Get it? Well, sorry if you don't. ^_^  
  
"Okay, well, if you're going to drive anywhere today, let me just let you know, that there is this law that states: If a motorist sees horses coming up the road, he has to pull well of the road until the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, he has to take his vehicle apart piece by piece and hide it in the nearest bushes," Cheny finished.  
  
"Orh boy," Coach Z mumbled.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Well, I must be leaving," Cheny said, as he floated up. "OH! AND THE ECONOMY IS FINE!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!" he cackled on his way out of the ceiling.  
  
"Werll, it's time for your nerxt apporitement," Coach Z said, instantly stopping the four snorers. He pushed a button on the wall, and they were dropped in a room, where there was none other than... MARZIPAN?!?  
  
"Omigod! MARRY ME HONEY!" Jonnifer leaped onto the armless girl.  
  
"Get off of me and Carrol," Marzipan asked him.  
  
"Sorry," Jonnifer said, brushing himself off.  
  
"Now, if you'd all take a seat, we're going to sing some songs with Carrol," she said to them all. "I'll sing it once, and then you sing it with me the next time, okay?" she asked them. "Okay, ready, a-one, a-two, a- three!" Marzipan said, before stringing on her guitar. To the tune of twinkle twinkle little star, she sang this:  
  
We are, we are, not addicts,  
  
Of homestarrunner.com.  
  
We're not going, to stay on,  
  
Longer than hours counting twenty-one.  
  
We are, we are, not addicts.  
  
Of homestarrunner.com  
  
"Now everybody sing!" Marzipan smiled. Every one sang, but with a slight twist to the lyrics.  
  
We love, we love, Strong Bad,  
  
That's the reason why we're here.  
  
We love him too much, to say bai,  
  
So instead, we cry and cry.  
  
We love, we love, Strong Bad,  
  
That's the reason, why we're here.  
  
Mazipan walked over and slammed her head on the nearest wall. 'Someone kill me now,' she thought. She hit the button on the wall with her head, sending them to the next person to be their counselor. BUT FIRST! WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A LITTLE WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MARZIPAN!!! ~.^  
  
And here, we see the green, green grass, the nice white buildings, and Marzipan being dragged on something that resembled a shipping thing with the wheels (you know, you put the boxes on 'em and go ZOOOM!!!) in a white straight jacket. The receptionist at the desk asks: What is your name?  
  
Marzipan replies with: Marzipan. And then, she gets a nice padded room in the pretty all white building. ^____^  
  
Okay, back to the vic- *ahem* patients. They all got into a room, which smelled worse than anything they could have ever imagined. It smelled like, 20 full port-a-potties, (A/N: I have one outside my house for the people who are doing construction on the next house over, and we decorated it for Halloween *laughs evilly*) 3 spraying skunks, and a partridge in a pear treeeee.  
  
"..." the Poopsmith said.  
  
"Oh god," Jess said, holding her nose like everyone else.  
  
"Let's get out of here," Jenny said, heading towards the door. Eveyone followed, until the poopsmith raised his shovel and made nice green sparks come out of it, and melt the door, so they were all stuck! He laughed evilly inside his mind. But suddenly, Jonnifer took out his compact mirror, and directed the sparks back at the poopsmith! The poopsmith dodged them, and they *conveniently* hit the button behind him, sending them all to the next person, the last person, maybe.  
  
The heard the sound of bubbles, and looked up to see Pom-pom on his cell phone. They all sat there, knowing it was rude to interrupt when someone was on the phone. Unfortunately, he never got off of the phone with his secret lover, Martha Stewart, so he had to send them all outside, so they could wait until tomorrow. Plus, it would be bad for his reputation if anyone saw him with Martha.  
  
________________________________________  
  
What do you think? I liked it! ^____^ 


	3. The Show

Disclaimer: WHOOOT!! This is double score night here with Thiny! I just wrote the prologue to Snow, which is still confusing right now, but you can go read it. I'd be much obliged if you READ and REVIEWED. Thank you.  
  
I don't own homestar and the crew, YYH, Inu Yasha, Jenny, Jess, Jonnifer, and anything else that it doesn't look like I own that pops up... like SUPER GREG!!  
  
(link: ) Go look at it to get some of this fic!  
  
ON WITH THE MAD- *cough* review responces.  
  
No name- Nice name ^__^ And Strong Mad's going to be in this chapter. I got major PLANS FOR THIS ONE BAY-BAY!! YEAH!!  
  
Evil_Homestar- I'll get Homsar in here! *talks like Homsar* I think I won the P-owerball.  
  
Jesscheaux Kuwabara- I think everyone's going to be in this one!! HEE HEE HEE!!!  
  
Too much juice for me... I'll have to cut back. ^__^ ______________________________________________________________  
  
Laura, Jenny, and Jess all walked into the HR.N(I.C)GROORC together, seeing as they had all slept over Laura's house last night. Jonnifer was going to already be in there, being early as usual so he could try to stalk Da Cheat- a new habbit of his, it happened kinda automatically.  
  
So, they're all walking into the building, and they get to the door, where there are three new body guards, and, to tell you the truth, they weren't that ugly. They all stopped, a little shy of their (as Strong Bad would say) radiant beauty! Then, they into one of the little huddle things, to disscuss a plan of glomping.  
  
"I like the tall one in the middle with orange hair, he's cute!" Jess whispered excitedly to Jenny and Laura.  
  
"I definetly like the one on the left!" Jenny squealed, trying to keep her voice down.  
  
"I think they're name tags are Kazuma Kuwabara and Sesshomaru," Laura said to Jess and Jenny after poking her head out of the huddle. By this time the three body guards were starting to get curious, but not enough to walk over to them.  
  
"What about the third one?" Jess asked.  
  
"That's for me to know and um... for me to know," Laura answered. "I think we should just walk up to them, and see what happens. You know, be yourself."  
  
"I think that's a good plan," Jenny agreed.  
  
"Sure," Jess agreed concisely. So, naturally, since Laura had suggested that they all act natural, they were all walking like sluts, really NOT themselves, and tripping all over the place, acting *shudder* preppy as some points as they climbed the 15 stairs up to the guards.  
  
"Hello. Would you ladies step over through this?" the one with the Kuwabara name tag directed them. Jess blushed.  
  
"S-s-sure," Jess stammered, giving him the fakest smile ever.  
  
"Hi," Jenny squeaked to Sesshomaru.  
  
"Hello," Sesshomaru replied, eying her up and down. The other guard and Laura were probably the only ones that were being themselves.  
  
"Hiya!" Laura squealed to her favorite bishy.  
  
"Yo!" replied the guard with dark black hair and brown eyes. He stood about five inches taller than Laura's five foot six inch body. (A/N: Oh boy, I'm sure you've either guessed who it is by now. If you haven't, I'll say his name the next time I get to, 'kay?)  
  
"Um... what's happenin'?" Laura asked with a big smile.  
  
"Not much really," Yusuke replied with a sigh.  
  
"Well that sucks, I have to go, and that sucks too. Don't a lot of things suck?" Laura asked as she walked through the metal detector, which beeped furiously.  
  
"Okay, what do you have in there, a gun or something?" Yusuke asked as he looked at her baggy black pants with stars on them.  
  
"No, a knife," Laura answered as if she could have just said: DUH!!!  
  
"What? You know that's illegal, right?!" Yusuke was amazed that someone would actually bring something like that here, especially a patient.  
  
"B-but today's 'Bring Your Knife Friend' to session day with Strong Bad!" Laura cried.  
  
"That's too bad," Yusuke actually felt sympathy for her.  
  
"Strong Bad will get mad if I don't bring it, and we were going to learn how to hack out internal organs and erase evidence!" Laura panicked.  
  
"Yo, Kuwabara! What should we do with them?" Yusuke asked, knowing that the other two must have bought them too.  
  
"I think we should let them bring them in. If Strong Bad said to do it, it's definitely a good idea," Kuwabara suggested, scratching his head.  
  
"Sesh?" Yusuke called out to him.  
  
"We should let them bring them in, yes. But if they cause harm, it was not our fault," Shesshy said, with Jenny melting at his feet.  
  
"Okay, I guess you all can go in," Yusuke announced.  
  
"YAYE!" all of the girls cheered. They glomped their bishies, then walked through the metal detector, leaving them all with beeping machines.  
  
*~*~  
  
"Dey souwld be hewar any minute, guwys," Homestar announced to everyone backstage. The crew was all there: Homestar, Homsar, Coach Z, Pom Pom, Bubs, Strong Bad, Da Cheat, Strong Mad, and Strong sad. The king of town was pigging his almighty ruling brain out on assorted "around the world" butters, and politely had to take a "sick of work" day. Marzipan was still in the insane asylum, currently recuperating for life, and the Poopsmith was in jail with 15 years for attempted murder and lock in. All of these characters had posted huge signs in the hallways to get all of the patients to come to the auditorium. So far, they were doubting that they could read very well...  
  
~*~*~  
  
"HEEEEELLLLPPP!!!!" Jonnifer screamed as he saw three people coming closer to him, ripping through the GARGANTUAN colorful signs that said things like: Come to the gym, yo! Or NO SESSIONS TODAY!! TO THE AUDITORIUM PLEASE!!!  
  
"What the fuck happened?" Laura asked, looking at the mess he was in. All of his limbs had gotten tangled in this one poster that must have been hanging all over the hallway. Anyway, they had two choices, the right one, and the Strong Bad one!! Okay, REFLECTION MOMENT!!!  
  
(soothing voices) Hi, this is Enya with Reflection Moment. As you can see, our heroes were about to make a choice that could affect them for the rest of their life. They should free him, right? But what is this Strong Bad option? What other choice is there for them to make? This could turn out disastrous if they're not careful. (queue the play button)  
  
(I said: queue the play button)  
  
(let's try that again, QUEUE THE FUCKING PLAY BUTTON!!!)  
  
(Oh my god! IF YOU DON'T GO YOU STUPID PLAY BUTTON, I'LL KILL YOU!! AND IT WON'T BE GOOD EITHER!!!!!)  
  
~*~*~  
  
"I think we should go with the Strong Bad option!" all of the girls nodded in agreement to Laura's thought.  
  
"Wh-wh-what is i-i-i-t?" Jonnifer stuttered, being as afraid of the almighty Strong Bad as he was.  
  
"We leave you here to struggle, and sit here to watch. Maybe we'll light the paper on fire or something to make you go faster," Laura explained.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Jonnifer yelled. At that EXACT second, a fireus flieums (Not to be confused with fire flies, people. These are a rare breed of flying fly only found in Strong Badia that can light things on fire.) happened to snag itself on the poster, just enough for Jonnifer to whack into the floor, free from the poster, but now, it was on fire.  
  
"Ohhhh, preeeetttyyyyy," the four people stared at the fire with amazement. (A/N: Jess, you did this next part, and I loved it so much, so we get to do the fire dance again!!!)  
  
"Let's do the FIRE DANCE!!!" Jess yelled. "FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!" she sang as she danced around the burning poster. Soon, everyone joined her, and they were all looking like psychos on a Moonday. (It's right after Sunday and right before Monday) Once the fire went out, they were all sad, and actually desided to do what the posters said, and followed them into the (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, draaammmaatttiiiiccc ppaaauuuusssee)  
  
(pausing)  
  
AUDITORIUM!!!! Where, the unknown lurking evil was about to put on a show...  
  
~*~*  
  
"We're here!" Jenny panted as they entered the auditorium. They had to stop and ask the wall for directions because they got really lost. But it was lying to them, so they had to ask the ceiling and floor, which gave them accurate directions.  
  
"Gwood!" Homestar said from on the stage. It appeared as if no one else was there, but really, the rest of them were backstage getting ready for their performance. "Pwease take a seat next to our other patients," the four walked down to the first row, where they saw no one sitting, and took seats. "Thank you! That makes uws hawve one fuww house!" Homestar said with a smile.  
  
"Today, we awe hewar because the cowncilling isn't woking on aww of you. Instead, we'wre gonna teach you some sowngs and dancwes!" Homestar announced before walking off of the stage. A second later, dry ice started filling the auditorium, so no one could see anything, and when it cleared, there, on the stage, were Super Greg and Bubs.  
  
"Hi yo!" Super Greg said with his funky accent.  
  
"Let's get a dis show on da road!" Bubs said. Super Greg started up the music, and Bubs began dancing in front. The four patients watched, Super Greg being the love of their lives... JUST KIDDING!!! But they were really watching though. Super Greg was the best mixer in the whole world!  
  
"Supa Greg," Super Greg said into the mic over his mixing table.  
  
"Numba ONE!" Super Greg began scratching those records, and since nobody had ever seen anyone do that before, thought he was blessed with a gift from God or some other non-religious omni-potent being, such as Super Mall Santa. They all stood up and cheered, and began dancing to the music that Super Greg was pumping out through the speakers.  
  
"This is da END!" Super Greg said, as he and Bubs began sinking into the stage. Once they were completely gone, the music stopped and everything, and the next act came out: The Strong Brothers.  
  
"WHOOOO!! I LOVE YOU STRONG BAD!" Jess cheered, a big number one hand appearing on her right hand, and a Strong Bad hat on her hand.  
  
"Thank you ladies. Today, we will be performing Strong Bad's finist!" Strong Bad announced as they all took out their instruments. Da Cheat on da keyboard, Strong Mad on his bass, and Strong Sad in his metal chair. The silence of him really did add to the music! Oh, and we mustn't forget Strong Bad on his very own electric guitar.  
  
"One two three four!" Strong Bad counted out.  
  
"Come on fhqwhgads.  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads,  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads,  
  
Everybody to the limit,  
  
Everybody to the limit,  
  
Everybody, c'mon fhqwhgads.  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads,  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads,  
  
Everybody to the limit,  
  
Who's that? It's to the limit,  
  
Everybody, c'mon fhqwhgads  
  
C'mon, fhqwhgads, I see you jocking me,  
  
Tryin' ta play like... You know me?  
  
I'm like, come on fhqwhgads,  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads  
  
Everybody to the limit,  
  
Da Cheat is to the limit,  
  
Everybody come on fhqwhgads!  
  
I said oooh, aaaah, fhqwhgads  
  
I said ooh, ahh, fhqwhgads  
  
Who's that fhqwhgads,  
  
I said who ya got a fhqwhgad!  
  
I don't know who it is,  
  
But it probably is fhqwhgads.  
  
I asked my friend Joe, I asked my friend Jake,  
  
They said it was fhqwhgads!  
  
I'm like, come on fhqwhgads,  
  
I said come on fhqwhgads  
  
Who's a to the limit?  
  
Say me, I'm to the limit,  
  
Every body c'mon fhqwhgads!  
  
Man, fhqwhgads,  
  
You just making yourself look worse you know,  
  
You're just gonna make everyone feel sorry for you,  
  
I mean, I do."  
  
Everyone cheered when the song was over. The next song was defenitly the best, but who's lyrics are hard to express through writing: Strong Bad Techno!!  
  
So, that song ended too, and that was, unfortunately, all the time the Strong Brothers had.  
  
Next up, was Pom Pom with his amazing bouncing act. *cough*yawn*cough* The cutain opened, and instead of Pom Pom bouncing around with the music, there was Pom Pom and Martha Stewart MAKING OUT!!! EWW!!!  
  
*BEEEEPPPP*  
  
Sorry, this is a broadcast of the REALLY nasty apology network. We'd like to say sorry if you are mentally scarred by thoughts of these two characters together, and we apologize if you are. We've saved 5 spots with Marzipan, so feel free to go. The name is under Crap for Brains. Okay?  
  
*BEEEEPPPP*  
  
Pom Pom couldn't say anything, and neither could Martha, so they just scuttled off of the stage (WHERE THEY BELONG!!!! *cough* sorry).  
  
"Sowwy fowks. Newxt up is Coach Z with a book for you called How to be Your Best Friend by I.M. Crap4brains. Hawve fun!" Homestar announced, his head just barely peeking through the curtains. Coach Z came out, and sat on a stool, opening a small book. It was pink, with the words CRAP FOR BRAINS engraved on the front.  
  
"So, since dis here is my jorb to read dis here book, I will," Coach Z announced. He did a little AHEM thing, and all of a sudden his voice was deep, and like a narrator's.  
  
"How to be you own best friend is really quite simple. All you have to do is hug Strong Bad and say I love me. Then you are your own best friend. Once you are your own best friend, you might get jealous of you and your friends. So, you must become a schizophrenic loner," Coach Z finished the book and did another little AHEM thing, and his voice was back to being his own.  
  
"Tharnk you. I tink I did my jorb werll," Coach Z said as he exited the stage. Jess, Jennny, Jonnifer, and Laura's jaws were all touching the floor because they were so amazed at his voice.  
  
The curtain shook, and the last, but not least, performer came out. It was none other than...  
  
"Hello. Irt's me!" Homsar said. "Todary, I'm goring to teach you to win the P-owerball. Pershoooo." Homsar took out a little slip of paper and a pencil and began showing them how to win the P-owerball!  
  
"Yoru mark orff the lirttle circles, and give it to the gury at 7- 11," Homsar said, as he got of the stage.  
  
"Dat was vewy lame," Homestar said, coming back on. "Oh, I'd wike to thank you aww for coming. This was a one dawy thing, so tomowwoww we will nowt be doing this again," Homestar informed then, as he made his final exit.  
  
~*~*~**~*~  
  
Please review! I think it was loooong... and funny... but what did you think? 


End file.
